Ep 3 - Mandi's Christmas Disaster to Christmas Miracle (part 3)

[00:00:05] [SPEAKER_05]: Hi everyone and welcome to the Monomyth Diaries, a bi-monthly podcast where ordinary people

[00:00:10] [SPEAKER_04]: get to share their hero's journey. I'm Mandi and I'm Karen and we'll be your hosts. Each

[00:00:16] [SPEAKER_04]: episode will feature a hero who will share their journey of growth. We'll hear stories

[00:00:21] [SPEAKER_04]: about forgiveness, survival, determination, and much more. We're glad you're joining

[00:00:26] [SPEAKER_04]: us because we all have a Monomyth to share and someone out there needs to hear it. Welcome

[00:00:34] [SPEAKER_03]: back to the Monomyth Diaries, our third episode. Just a general reminder that this is a take what

[00:00:40] [SPEAKER_03]: you like and leave the rest podcast. Today's story is about bi-monomyth only. This is episode three

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_02]: and the final chapter on Mandi's Monomyth. So in episode one or two we covered Mandi's

[00:00:51] [SPEAKER_02]: background of growing up in a household which struggled with alcoholism and that led to

[00:00:56] [SPEAKER_02]: the disastrous Christmas morning where her upbringing and the unhealthy relationship

[00:01:02] [SPEAKER_02]: with her ex-husband comes to a head. Okay that Christmas leads Mandi to fully commit to her journey

[00:01:09] [SPEAKER_02]: with Alenon. We learned how Mandi evolved from seeking Alenon as a means to fix her ex-husband,

[00:01:15] [SPEAKER_02]: to embark on a journey towards personal growth in herself. So here we are,

[00:01:23] [SPEAKER_02]: in Christmas, disaster to Christmas miracle. Let's talk about the boons. How long have you

[00:01:29] [SPEAKER_03]: been in Alenon? Karen I love that we called it the Christmas disaster to the Christmas miracle.

[00:01:34] [SPEAKER_03]: I love that. It is absolutely a miracle that I have been in Alenon for almost 20 years. This

[00:01:40] [SPEAKER_02]: January will be 20 years. 20 years? That's awesome. What are some of the most effective

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER_02]: tools you have learned in handling life's challenges? Yes, I'm happy today to say that

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER_03]: there's no active alcoholism in my family but I am still in Alenon, still working on dealing with

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_03]: some of the effects of alcoholism and there are a lot of tools that I've learned along the way

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_03]: but if I had to pick just a couple one of them that I would say has been

[00:02:14] [SPEAKER_03]: the most useful is regular self-reflection. What we call it in program is called taking

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_03]: an inventory. Taking an inventory is just kind of looking at yourself. We particularly do it in

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_03]: step four and we look at patterns, behaviors. We take a deep look at things that make us tick

[00:02:39] [SPEAKER_03]: and in doing that over the years it's fostered so much personal growth and healing for me

[00:02:46] [SPEAKER_03]: and I've gotten so much out of personal self-reflection. I've gotten things like having an

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER_03]: attitude of gratitude. I've learned how to be a humble person, so I've gained a lot of humility.

[00:02:58] [SPEAKER_03]: I learned to be open-minded. I learned to live my life with integrity and that was something

[00:03:05] [SPEAKER_03]: that I had never seen or encountered prior to working with my Alenon sponsor and the people

[00:03:12] [SPEAKER_03]: in program. I learned to look at all of my problems and challenges whether they're current

[00:03:19] [SPEAKER_03]: or my past as opportunities to grow and looked at them as an opportunity, a gift. This is a problem

[00:03:28] [SPEAKER_03]: and it's not fun at the time but I know once I get to the other side I'm going to be able to

[00:03:34] [SPEAKER_03]: look back and see all of the things that I got from that problem. I think self-reflection has also

[00:03:42] [SPEAKER_03]: really given me the opportunity to reconcile with my past which prior to 20 years ago I really

[00:03:51] [SPEAKER_03]: struggled with. I struggled with a lot of guilt and shame. I know in the first episode we talked

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_03]: about how I had had an abortion and that really, really weighed on me because I felt so guilty

[00:04:02] [SPEAKER_03]: and so ashamed and I never wanted anybody to know about it. I will share with you though.

[00:04:09] [SPEAKER_03]: I was with a friend of mine the other day and I got sharing with her. She asked me about her podcast

[00:04:15] [SPEAKER_03]: and so I got, you know, she's like what kind of things you guys are going to talk about

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_03]: and I shared with her about, you know, I'm going to tell the world that, you know,

[00:04:23] [SPEAKER_03]: I had an abortion and it was really traumatizing. It was a traumatizing experience. I wish it

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_03]: would have never happened to me but it did shape who I am today. You know, I can say

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_03]: that I wish that I had different parents who would have talked to me about those kinds

[00:04:36] [SPEAKER_03]: of things but then I would be saying, you know, I wish I was somebody different because

[00:04:40] [SPEAKER_03]: those experiences shaped who I am today and I can talk about it. And she then shared with me that

[00:04:48] [SPEAKER_03]: she had had an abortion and that conversation would have never come up, you know what I mean?

[00:04:55] [SPEAKER_03]: And when I shared that with her and she shared with me I didn't feel so alone.

[00:04:59] [SPEAKER_03]: And I thought this is what we're doing, right? So that's one tool. My other tool that I

[00:05:05] [SPEAKER_03]: would say that I find very, very useful all the time is something I call detaching with love.

[00:05:10] [SPEAKER_03]: Detaching from other people. I can still love them. I can love who my parents were and detach

[00:05:16] [SPEAKER_03]: from their disease. Being able to detach has also given me the opportunity to care about

[00:05:22] [SPEAKER_03]: other people in the right fashion. I don't need to help them. I don't need to save them.

[00:05:28] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't need to fix them. It has given me the opportunity to allow other people that I love

[00:05:33] [SPEAKER_03]: the dignity to make their own decisions and their own choices, whether they're good or bad.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_03]: You know, it's not my job to make decisions for other people. Detaching with love gave me the

[00:05:44] [SPEAKER_03]: opportunity to really focus on me and focus my energies on myself and not the people around me.

[00:05:52] [SPEAKER_03]: One of the phrases that we always say is stay in your hula hoop. You know,

[00:05:55] [SPEAKER_03]: you can't fit two people in a hula hoop and make it work. Yeah. And so detaching

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_03]: from other people makes me focus on just the person inside my hula hoop, which is me. I've learned a

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_03]: lot of self interests, self esteem, self confidence, just so many things. Finding my voice was something

[00:06:12] [SPEAKER_03]: that I never had. Yeah, those would be the two tools that I find that have been the most useful.

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_02]: Wow, that sounds like seriously, it seems like an incredible toolbox you've been blessed with.

[00:06:24] [SPEAKER_03]: I have a giant toolbox. That's just a couple of them. I mean, gosh, I could name so many

[00:06:29] [SPEAKER_02]: just to us enough. Let's start with integrity. So how has living with integrity influenced

[00:06:36] [SPEAKER_03]: your relationships? Integrity is huge for me. For a really, really long time, we used to have

[00:06:45] [SPEAKER_03]: a magnet on our refrigerator that said integrity is is doing the right thing even when no one is

[00:06:52] [SPEAKER_03]: looking so that my son would grow up knowing what integrity was. Can I share just a fun

[00:06:58] [SPEAKER_03]: little story about that? When my son was little, he was in fifth grade and I was a library helper

[00:07:05] [SPEAKER_03]: at his school. And the teacher was reading a book in the word integrity came up and she said,

[00:07:11] [SPEAKER_03]: you know, boys and girls, does anybody know what integrity means? And, you know, my son was the

[00:07:16] [SPEAKER_03]: only one who raises him. The other pretty young at the fifth grade was like 10 or 11. And he

[00:07:20] [SPEAKER_03]: says, yes, integrity means you're doing the right thing even when no one else is looking,

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_03]: right? And the teacher looks at him and looks at me and says in all of my years of teaching,

[00:07:29] [SPEAKER_03]: no one has ever, ever been able to answer that question. It's usually something like I have

[00:07:34] [SPEAKER_03]: to explain. And she's like, that's amazing. That is so important to me, you know, that I'm

[00:07:39] [SPEAKER_03]: always doing the right thing. And so when we're thinking about integrity, I would say that it's

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_03]: affected my relationships, right? That's the question that you're asking me. It's like,

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_03]: the more and more that I learned what integrity was and started behaving with integrity,

[00:07:59] [SPEAKER_03]: my relationships changed. It just was sort of this organic thing that happened. I didn't wake up one

[00:08:05] [SPEAKER_03]: day and say, oh, I'm just going to start hanging out with people now that, you know, live with

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_03]: integrity. I felt like over the years, I just started gravitating more towards people who lived

[00:08:16] [SPEAKER_03]: that sort of lifestyle. And that really changed who I was spending time with. And so,

[00:08:22] [SPEAKER_03]: yeah, so my relationships shifted quite a bit to some unhealthy relationships to, you know,

[00:08:31] [SPEAKER_03]: more healthy ones where people are living with, with integrity, which is huge to me. I just found

[00:08:36] [SPEAKER_03]: that to be an important characteristic that I'm looking for in other people.

[00:08:40] [SPEAKER_02]: That's so incredible that I especially like that you mentioned unhealthy to healthy

[00:08:46] [SPEAKER_02]: it sounds like having integrity is a key ingredient to having a healthy relationship.

[00:08:53] [SPEAKER_03]: For me, you know, and that's, that's the thing like the beautiful part of doing my mom at this.

[00:08:58] [SPEAKER_03]: It's just my experience, right? I mean, for me, it's, I need to surround myself with, with

[00:09:04] [SPEAKER_03]: people with integrity. I want friends who feel comfortable telling me if I'm doing something

[00:09:11] [SPEAKER_03]: that's, you know, not living with integrity. I want it to be pointed out to me so that I can fix

[00:09:15] [SPEAKER_02]: my behavior. Just say I appreciate that humility and that vulnerability and willingness to be called

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_03]: higher and to do better. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's the only way to live life, right? Like,

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_03]: nobody's perfect. Everybody's going to make mistakes. And, and yeah, I like to think

[00:09:33] [SPEAKER_03]: that I'm humble enough to own my mistakes and say, you know, hey, tell me, I'm okay with

[00:09:37] [SPEAKER_03]: it. Just tell me how do I make it better? You know, what can I do differently next time?

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER_02]: So this brings me to my next question. As you're pursuing a standard in a lifestyle of living with

[00:09:49] [SPEAKER_02]: integrity, can you share about a time when that commitment was tested?

[00:09:57] [SPEAKER_03]: Aren't we faced with challenges all the time, right? Sure.

[00:10:03] [SPEAKER_03]: I just recently was part of a volunteer organization and there was a particular person who

[00:10:09] [SPEAKER_03]: I would call an unhealthy person from in my eyes. Is it an unhealthy behaviors?

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_03]: Yeah, exerting some unhealthy behaviors and I tried to talk with my sponsor, I talked with other

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_03]: friends that I see as mentors and I tried to set some boundaries with this person.

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_03]: And I thought I was pretty clear. I'd like to think I was pretty clear and it just wasn't working.

[00:10:33] [SPEAKER_03]: And for some reason, this particular person just didn't see eye to eye with me, I guess.

[00:10:42] [SPEAKER_03]: I did a lot of praying and a lot of meditating about how to deal with this person, but there was

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_03]: a giant conflict that was not provoked by me. And it's funny because I kind of saw this conflict

[00:10:53] [SPEAKER_03]: coming and I had been working with my sponsor ahead of time about how to handle it.

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_03]: What do I do if this particular instance comes up or what do I say?

[00:11:02] [SPEAKER_03]: And she just said, you say this is not appropriate and you walk away.

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_03]: Just keep your side of the street clean. It's not the time or the place, right?

[00:11:13] [SPEAKER_03]: I was so glad that I had that opportunity to practice that with her because that's exactly

[00:11:17] [SPEAKER_03]: what happened. Integrity-wise, I really wanted to be part of this group.

[00:11:22] [SPEAKER_03]: But my inner conflict was do I do the thing that's best for me? Selfishly, I wanted to go and still

[00:11:30] [SPEAKER_03]: be part of the group. I had a lot of friends there. I got a lot of joy from this volunteer

[00:11:36] [SPEAKER_03]: organization, but I also didn't want to bring unnecessary drama to everyone else because

[00:11:43] [SPEAKER_03]: it's free, right? And I don't want to keep anybody else from participating because they want to avoid

[00:11:49] [SPEAKER_03]: the drama and the conflict. And so ultimately I decided for the best thing for the group was for

[00:11:55] [SPEAKER_03]: me not to attend even though I was sad. I mean, you know, Snot cried all over my husband while

[00:12:02] [SPEAKER_03]: sad I was not to participate anymore. I felt like a piece of me was missing, but the right

[00:12:07] [SPEAKER_03]: thing, I know in my heart I did the right thing and that was hard, but that's just an example

[00:12:13] [SPEAKER_02]: trying to live my life with grace and dignity. That's incredible that you put the community ahead,

[00:12:19] [SPEAKER_02]: the needs of the community ahead of your own personal needs here. Let's seriously, kudos.

[00:12:26] [SPEAKER_03]: Well, thank you. And not making it about you. Yeah, yeah, I think it was the best thing for

[00:12:31] [SPEAKER_03]: the group and they're doing really well so they're flourishing, so good for them. Yay!

[00:12:35] [SPEAKER_02]: And I'm glad that you're celebrating that, not getting bitter and resentful. No, now I'm

[00:12:41] [SPEAKER_03]: so happy for everybody. Yeah, of course I am. God did for me what I couldn't do for myself

[00:12:48] [SPEAKER_03]: in that situation, which was to leave the group and the conflict made me leave. So I know it was

[00:12:55] [SPEAKER_02]: the right thing. I keep thinking about your son's explanation in class of saying like doing the

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER_02]: right thing. It's actually when no one's looking and how hard it is and sometimes it's incredibly

[00:13:08] [SPEAKER_02]: difficult. So I just want to give you serious props. Thanks. Serious props, especially it came at a

[00:13:14] [SPEAKER_02]: it wasn't painless. So serious props. No. Okay, so my next point, one tool that you talked about.

[00:13:22] [SPEAKER_02]: You mentioned detaching with love allowed you to really focus on yourself. So how did

[00:13:29] [SPEAKER_02]: discovering your own interests and finding your voice change your sense of self?

[00:13:36] [SPEAKER_03]: Finding my own voice and my sense of self. We're talking about interests, we're talking about

[00:13:41] [SPEAKER_03]: interests, right? So I was thinking back to when I first started in program. I was working

[00:13:49] [SPEAKER_03]: with my sponsor and she said to me, Mandy I want you to make a list of 10 things you like to do.

[00:14:00] [SPEAKER_03]: I couldn't do it. I could not think of 10 things I liked to do. I could tell you

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_03]: things that my ex-husband liked to do. I could tell you things my brother and sister like to do.

[00:14:13] [SPEAKER_03]: But when I really thought about activities and things that I did, I couldn't. You know,

[00:14:20] [SPEAKER_03]: I I'd always been a runner but I couldn't even genuinely say whether or not I like to

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER_03]: do that because I started doing it because my brother did it. My brother was an active runner

[00:14:30] [SPEAKER_03]: and I loved my brother and I wanted to do everything my brother did. And so I really didn't know

[00:14:35] [SPEAKER_03]: what I like to do. Because I couldn't make a list of 10 things she said, okay well let's try this.

[00:14:42] [SPEAKER_03]: Let's make a list of 10 things you want to try. And that was difficult too and the reason

[00:14:48] [SPEAKER_03]: I found it difficult was I didn't like to try new things because I was afraid. I was always afraid

[00:14:55] [SPEAKER_03]: that I wouldn't know how to do it or I'd look stupid or I'd fail. So there's all kinds of

[00:15:02] [SPEAKER_03]: reasons why I wouldn't try new things but if I tried new things with the people I was around

[00:15:05] [SPEAKER_03]: then I felt safe to do it. And so that started my journey of finding my own self-interest. So I

[00:15:12] [SPEAKER_03]: just I would just go try things. You know, I used to do some serious long distance running

[00:15:17] [SPEAKER_03]: and I like running but I found that I didn't really particularly enjoy that.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_03]: You know, and some things I tried and I miserably failed at but I was like I'm going to do this

[00:15:29] [SPEAKER_03]: until I get it and that was a new experience for me. I'm very excited to say today some of the

[00:15:35] [SPEAKER_03]: things that I said I didn't like for example I used to say I don't like to read. And people who

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_03]: know me today know that I'm a very avid reader. I read all the time. I always tell my husband

[00:15:50] [SPEAKER_03]: there's so many books and not enough time as I feel like I'm trying to play catch up

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_03]: because for a long long time I didn't read. I think one of the things was one I'm a very

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER_03]: enjoy reading things that I was told I had to read. You know in school you have to read certain

[00:16:09] [SPEAKER_03]: things and they were always a struggle and I didn't find that fun. Somewhere along the way

[00:16:13] [SPEAKER_03]: you know someone recommended to me trying some book. I can't remember and I loved it so much.

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_03]: And it was like I felt it was years and years below my level of what I should have been

[00:16:26] [SPEAKER_03]: reading but my sponsor I was just saying it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're

[00:16:31] [SPEAKER_03]: enjoying it that's what's important right. And so yeah so today I can definitely say that there's

[00:16:36] [SPEAKER_03]: lots and lots of things that I like to do and it's helped me develop a lot of self-esteem and a

[00:16:41] [SPEAKER_03]: lot of self-confidence. You know like you said there's always these try fails. Yeah and so try

[00:16:47] [SPEAKER_03]: something and fail if you don't like it. Don't do it again try something else right.

[00:16:51] [SPEAKER_02]: So I don't know if that answers your question. You learn something about yourself by being

[00:16:56] [SPEAKER_02]: willing to take that risk and put yourself up there and try stuff so seriously. Yeah I do a lot

[00:17:01] [SPEAKER_03]: of things today that I would have never thought I would enjoy doing like wakeboarding. I love wakeboarding.

[00:17:07] [SPEAKER_03]: I love riding my bike you know I love gravel riding. There's all kinds of things that if you'd

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER_03]: asked me 20 years ago I'd have been like yeah no I would never do that. Oh yeah I gotta admit

[00:17:15] [SPEAKER_02]: like the idea of gravel riding terrifies me so serious huge. And I am not a thrill seeker for

[00:17:22] [SPEAKER_03]: sure. I am not a thrill seeker at all. I know that about myself. I don't love those things.

[00:17:26] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't love things that scare me but that to me is a lot of fun. Good for you seriously.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_02]: Okay so someone me who like has struggled and continues to struggle to find my own voice

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_02]: what did you do to find yours? To find my voice.

[00:17:49] [SPEAKER_03]: Um yeah that's you know we talked about in the last episode I grew up in a household that was

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_03]: there was a lot of turmoil. I was yelled at a lot and you know it's funny you hear people say all

[00:17:59] [SPEAKER_03]: the time you know children are to be seen and not heard that's kind of the house I grew up in.

[00:18:03] [SPEAKER_03]: Oh I'll give you something to cry about right? I just never spoke up for myself.

[00:18:08] [SPEAKER_03]: Never ever I was afraid to. We talked about how conflict scares me. I don't like conflict

[00:18:14] [SPEAKER_03]: and turmoil you know and then there's always that fear of abandonment right? And so

[00:18:22] [SPEAKER_03]: finding my voice through a program I would say there's a lot of things that I've done over the

[00:18:29] [SPEAKER_03]: years that has helped me find my voice. One of them was learning about feelings. I really didn't

[00:18:34] [SPEAKER_03]: understand feelings you know in my house there was two feelings and it was happy and sad and

[00:18:39] [SPEAKER_03]: that was about it or angry and happy but there was really no in between and no no gray and so

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_03]: really learning what my feelings were you know am I angry or am I just really sad or am I disappointed

[00:18:50] [SPEAKER_03]: you know what is it that's feeling that anger because anger is an easy easy emotion to have

[00:18:55] [SPEAKER_03]: probably one of the easiest um and so for me picking a part like why am I angry oh I'm

[00:19:00] [SPEAKER_03]: angry because of x y and z or I'm happy because of x y and z um so that really helped

[00:19:06] [SPEAKER_03]: seeing my part in situations. You know being able to own in a situation what was my part whether it

[00:19:15] [SPEAKER_03]: was not speaking up for myself you know whether it was I was being manipulative you know whether I

[00:19:21] [SPEAKER_03]: was being dishonest you know being able to own my part in a situation helped me find my voice

[00:19:26] [SPEAKER_03]: I would say learning a lot of self-esteem to have self-esteem self-confidence self-love

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_03]: surrounding myself with safe people you know as we were talking about us those relationships

[00:19:38] [SPEAKER_03]: start to change you know as I start to gravitate towards healthier safer people

[00:19:45] [SPEAKER_03]: you know I started to get more comfortable to express myself and to find my voice

[00:19:52] [SPEAKER_03]: in the very beginning of program I met my husband a couple years after I was in the program and

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_03]: and you know obviously you have to be able to talk to your partner you have to be able to

[00:20:05] [SPEAKER_03]: express your own you know your own needs and so forth or in conflict resolution and so I

[00:20:13] [SPEAKER_03]: remember specifically having disagreements with him and I would just shut down well

[00:20:18] [SPEAKER_03]: because that's my go to thing that was what I did as a kid I shut down and he was the kind of

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_03]: person who I need to fix this right now right we were completely different and so my sponsor and I

[00:20:30] [SPEAKER_03]: would talk and she would have me write him letters and so I would write him a letter to talk about

[00:20:35] [SPEAKER_03]: you know whatever that was the conflict or whatever it was whatever my feelings were

[00:20:39] [SPEAKER_03]: however I felt the conflict needed to be resolved and then I would set an appointment with him

[00:20:44] [SPEAKER_03]: because he felt the need to solve it he needs to know it's going to be solved

[00:20:48] [SPEAKER_03]: so the appointment setting helped us because he knew we were going to talk about it you know I'm

[00:20:54] [SPEAKER_03]: willing to talk to you about it on this day and then I'll have be able to collect my thoughts and

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_03]: be calm and then I'll have this letter and then I would just read him the letter you know

[00:21:02] [SPEAKER_03]: practicing those kinds of things was was super helpful in learning to find my voice

[00:21:07] [SPEAKER_03]: because it wasn't easy and sometimes it's still not easy you know I really have to think about

[00:21:13] [SPEAKER_03]: calling people reaching out you know sorting through my feelings and my part in situations

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_03]: so that I can you know express myself properly could I ask uh so you talk about these appointments

[00:21:23] [SPEAKER_02]: you would make with your current husband did he listen to your voice and accept it

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER_03]: I think he always is really good at validating my feelings um yeah he's good at validating

[00:21:37] [SPEAKER_03]: and saying I hear you you know this is what you're saying and and I'm not going to say that that was

[00:21:42] [SPEAKER_03]: you know something that came naturally to us we had to practice right we had to practice that um

[00:21:47] [SPEAKER_03]: but yeah he's a very safe person you know I I think in our entire marriage you know we've been

[00:21:55] [SPEAKER_03]: married for 15 years and I mean I've he's only ever raised his voice to me maybe once or twice

[00:22:01] [SPEAKER_03]: wow and that was during COVID and we you know I mean I don't know everybody likes to use

[00:22:06] [SPEAKER_03]: COVID as excuse but that was a real struggle in my house um but no he's a very calm and patient

[00:22:11] [SPEAKER_02]: person and so yeah he's great again I think in isolation and stuck with each other for as

[00:22:18] [SPEAKER_02]: years on the time you didn't have time to miss each other so everybody went through that yeah

[00:22:25] [SPEAKER_02]: but I think that's so key that you know thank you for sharing about safe people and and I

[00:22:32] [SPEAKER_02]: I could see I could see how I could see in your marriage just that you're no you're no longer afraid

[00:22:38] [SPEAKER_02]: to express and and feel free so no serious kudos kudos uh speaking of your marriage and your home

[00:22:47] [SPEAKER_02]: what practices are you now doing to create a serene household environment

[00:22:54] [SPEAKER_03]: oh my house is so serene I love my house one time a friend of mine son was over he was in

[00:23:01] [SPEAKER_03]: high school um he said dogs sit for us and he came over one day and he's sitting at my dining

[00:23:07] [SPEAKER_03]: room table and he's sitting there and he's looking around and he says you know miss

[00:23:11] [SPEAKER_03]: Mandy your house is really sterile nice and I said you know I think I prefer to call it serene

[00:23:25] [SPEAKER_03]: because it is a very calm place it's it's very peaceful my house is very peaceful and again I

[00:23:30] [SPEAKER_03]: circle back around to my first sponsor she's she's just such a huge part of my life and part of my

[00:23:35] [SPEAKER_03]: journey she said to me in the very beginning you know Mandy no one deserves to be yelled at

[00:23:42] [SPEAKER_03]: and gosh that was so powerful because I grew up being yelled at all the time my mom never yelled

[00:23:49] [SPEAKER_03]: at me never once but my dad was like a rager I mean angry rager and I didn't want to bring

[00:23:57] [SPEAKER_03]: that into my house and so I again another magnet that I used to have hanging on my refrigerator but

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_03]: I still have a sticky note in various places around my house that said let it begin with me and so

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_03]: I had one that used to hang on my steering wheel one on my computer one on my refrigerator let

[00:24:15] [SPEAKER_03]: it begin with me was so powerful if I want change in my house it has to start with me

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_03]: I will not be a yeller I don't want to be a yeller and I want to model that behavior I want to model

[00:24:29] [SPEAKER_03]: the behavior that I expect you know if I don't want my husband to yell if I don't want my son to yell

[00:24:34] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't yell we encourage healthy hobbies as a way to keep everybody serene we encourage

[00:24:42] [SPEAKER_03]: healthy friendships we allow everybody in our house to be an active decision maker I think

[00:24:49] [SPEAKER_03]: that has helped to create serenity in my house you know we've always been the kind of family that

[00:24:55] [SPEAKER_03]: gives western choices you know I would say you know do you want to do it this way or this way

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_03]: do you want to brush your teeth at eight o'clock or eight twenty you know trying to always help

[00:25:08] [SPEAKER_03]: him know that he's an active member in the decision-making to you know I don't want to have

[00:25:13] [SPEAKER_03]: battles with people you know and I feel like if you know that you're you're part of the

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_03]: decision you're more likely to to be a part of the solution I think we we work on setting

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_03]: boundaries with one another even uh one of the examples that I would share is when I was working

[00:25:33] [SPEAKER_03]: when my husband and I first met I was teaching school

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_03]: and he told me in the very beginning when you come home from work leave it at work

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to talk about work at home you know he and I was so taken aback by that and I

[00:25:50] [SPEAKER_03]: remember calling my sponsor and she said you know Mandy not everybody can be everything to everybody

[00:25:54] [SPEAKER_03]: and that's why you have friends you know if you're gonna have you know things you need to

[00:25:58] [SPEAKER_03]: talk about at work call somebody else you know it's okay you don't have to share everything

[00:26:02] [SPEAKER_03]: with him you know he's setting that boundary wow yeah that was huge to me that you know we

[00:26:07] [SPEAKER_03]: weren't going to talk about work and he still to the state very rarely talks about work

[00:26:12] [SPEAKER_03]: I know I love it so yeah we saw a lot of boundaries in our house even with each other

[00:26:19] [SPEAKER_02]: that's it's incredible that you guys can communicate on that level to go use what I need

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_02]: and what I really can't handle or won't handle yeah if you will all right and I may not like it

[00:26:32] [SPEAKER_03]: but I don't have to like the situation but I want to like myself in it right yeah so

[00:26:36] [SPEAKER_02]: I mean it is what it is and that I think the ultimate thing and and just having met your family

[00:26:42] [SPEAKER_02]: like it's very clear you guys work things out like it is that there's not unresolved bitterness or

[00:26:48] [SPEAKER_02]: anything that everything is just it's clear and in the open and and you guys discuss it we try

[00:26:53] [SPEAKER_03]: it's not perfect but you know I tell people all the time you know no relationship is perfect

[00:26:57] [SPEAKER_03]: you all have you know you're always going to have these peaks and valleys like a roller

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_03]: coaster sometimes but you know at the end of the day you know 90 percent it's a whole idea to take

[00:27:06] [SPEAKER_03]: what you like and leave the rest right like 90 percent of our relationship is great you know

[00:27:10] [SPEAKER_03]: gotta work on the other 10 percent yeah that's a constant battle right feel that muscle so in

[00:27:16] [SPEAKER_02]: what ways is prioritizing your health and well-being transformed your life and there's so much that

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_03]: goes on in your health and well-being whether it's your physical spiritual mental if we talk

[00:27:30] [SPEAKER_03]: about my physical for a minute I grew up in a house where people didn't take care of themselves

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_03]: physically you know they drank they smoke nobody exercised and that wasn't modeled for me and so

[00:27:41] [SPEAKER_03]: it's been it's been difficult to learn to take care of myself when I was first married I never

[00:27:46] [SPEAKER_03]: went to the dentist I didn't go to the doctor you know I was so focused on fixing that marriage

[00:27:52] [SPEAKER_03]: that I just neglected myself well all the way around and and spiritually you know I I didn't

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_03]: go to church I didn't have a god and to be told you know I was pretty angry with God you know

[00:28:06] [SPEAKER_03]: that my life didn't turn out the way that I thought it should or you know I would pray and pray

[00:28:11] [SPEAKER_03]: and pray as a little as a little kid and nothing I never felt like things got better you know

[00:28:18] [SPEAKER_03]: and then I just carried all that into my adulthood so spiritually taking care of myself has been

[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_03]: huge learning what that looks like you know religion versus spirituality you know I now have a relationship

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_03]: with God the God of my understanding and I do pray and I do meditate um so that's definitely

[00:28:38] [SPEAKER_03]: changed so now I take care of myself spiritually by doing those things almost every day I don't

[00:28:45] [SPEAKER_03]: do it perfectly I like to say that I do but sometimes I forget because it's not been a habit

[00:28:50] [SPEAKER_03]: like you said building muscles um it's something that I have to have to work on it's a conscious

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER_03]: effort I think the other thing you know mentally I I make sure that you know I'm going down on

[00:29:01] [SPEAKER_03]: that I'm meeting with my sponsor again I'm you know surrounding myself with good healthy people

[00:29:06] [SPEAKER_03]: and I'm you know that I'm reading and learning and trying to every day be a better person

[00:29:11] [SPEAKER_03]: right um it's and and because I've worked on all of those things it's really come out in my family

[00:29:18] [SPEAKER_03]: and my friends you know I just have so much to be grateful for um you know it's a whole idea

[00:29:25] [SPEAKER_03]: if I have to focus on myself right well I know we've talked about this you gotta put your own

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_03]: oxygen mask on first focusing on my own health and well-being you know helps me to be a better

[00:29:36] [SPEAKER_03]: person for my loved ones and for my friends you know that's your question yes actually you raise

[00:29:43] [SPEAKER_02]: the actually says something that moved me you you just shared about praying as a little girl

[00:29:49] [SPEAKER_02]: and feeling those those prayers aren't being answered but looking back I'd like to say yeah

[00:29:54] [SPEAKER_02]: it's just that it took a journey and a heck of a lot of training to see the fulfillment of

[00:30:03] [SPEAKER_03]: those prayers yes it's funny you know let's talk about that for a minute um I know there's a little

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_03]: bit of a sidebar you know if god would have answered my prayers the way that I wanted him to

[00:30:14] [SPEAKER_03]: I wouldn't be where I am today yeah and my life is so amazing you know I get up every day and I'm

[00:30:21] [SPEAKER_03]: so grateful that God didn't answer my prayers the way that I wanted him to

[00:30:28] [SPEAKER_03]: seriously yeah it's I just I thank him all the time you know his plan for me

[00:30:36] [SPEAKER_03]: was so much better than I could have ever imagined that's so much better yeah and I'm so grateful

[00:30:43] [SPEAKER_03]: that you know I didn't get what I wanted because even better than what I could have imagined

[00:30:49] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah yeah you really blew your mind yeah he gave you more than you could ask for imagine

[00:30:55] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah yeah well speaking of things that you know the god of you and his ending has been giving you

[00:31:02] [SPEAKER_02]: how is your relationship with your current husband and was your journey of personal growth

[00:31:10] [SPEAKER_03]: oh my lovely husband I love my husband so much I'm so glad we get to talk about him

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_03]: because he is such a huge part of my journey you know as I said like I've been in program for 20 but

[00:31:20] [SPEAKER_03]: I've been married to him for 15 so he has been a giant part of my journey and I'm so grateful that

[00:31:25] [SPEAKER_03]: I was in program before I met him because I had done so much work on myself now I got to go into

[00:31:33] [SPEAKER_03]: this relationship so much differently so different than I went into other relationships I knew going

[00:31:39] [SPEAKER_03]: in this time that I wanted to pick a partner who is willing to grow with me I don't want to stay in

[00:31:46] [SPEAKER_03]: the same place I want to continue to grow throughout my life there's a there's a

[00:31:51] [SPEAKER_03]: podcaster his name is Ed Milet and he talks about when he I'm going to paraphrase what he says but

[00:31:57] [SPEAKER_03]: he his idea of getting to heaven is when he gets there that God's going to be there and say

[00:32:02] [SPEAKER_03]: you know hey look at this is the person that I had planned for you to become how close did

[00:32:07] [SPEAKER_03]: you get right and so the his whole idea is that you're constantly growing and trying to be that

[00:32:13] [SPEAKER_03]: person that better person um and so I look at it like that I want to grow for the rest of my life

[00:32:19] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't want to be stagnant so I wanted a partner that was willing to grow with me and we talked about

[00:32:23] [SPEAKER_03]: how important integrity is to me yes and I needed I needed a partner that lived his life with

[00:32:27] [SPEAKER_03]: integrity if I had one word to describe my husband it would be that he lives his life

[00:32:31] [SPEAKER_03]: with integrity I needed somebody that was safe right I I also knew going into that

[00:32:37] [SPEAKER_03]: that I wanted somebody who's willing to get a marriage counseling you know that

[00:32:41] [SPEAKER_03]: that you know we can't fix all of her problems by ourselves and being humble enough to know

[00:32:47] [SPEAKER_03]: there are lots of people out there who have problems and there are lots of people out

[00:32:51] [SPEAKER_03]: there who have experiences to share and wisdom to share to help us get through those hard times

[00:32:57] [SPEAKER_03]: yeah you know we we lean on his parents all the time tell us about your experiences we lean on

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_03]: my sponsor and her husband tell us about your experiences we lean on you and you know and our

[00:33:06] [SPEAKER_03]: friends to to say what you know have you gone through this what have you done what has worked

[00:33:10] [SPEAKER_03]: what has not worked you know my husband does grow with me he's you know was a huge part of

[00:33:15] [SPEAKER_03]: a starting this podcast um because he knew that I had this like growing love for Tony Robbins

[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_03]: and he had discovered that Tony Robbins was going to be in Dallas which was right up the

[00:33:28] [SPEAKER_03]: road from us and he was like hey you want to go to this and I said yes and so we went to that

[00:33:32] [SPEAKER_03]: conference together and we did so much growing in it so changed our relationship again like it

[00:33:39] [SPEAKER_03]: shifted again where we're really working together uh on growing together you know in

[00:33:45] [SPEAKER_03]: in business you know in our marriage you know our relationship with our son and our friends

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_03]: you know things just shifted again because we did that together you know constantly growing

[00:33:56] [SPEAKER_03]: you know back in the beginning my husband would go to meetings with me

[00:33:59] [SPEAKER_03]: here's a fun story when I first met my husband of course you don't want to tell people like right

[00:34:04] [SPEAKER_03]: out of the gate hey by the way I'm an alanon right like kind of might scare people off

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_03]: and so we were dating for about six months before you know I told him and he he used to ask me

[00:34:17] [SPEAKER_03]: hey where do you go every Monday night and it was kind of a tricky question right because it

[00:34:23] [SPEAKER_03]: didn't want to lie but I didn't necessarily want to put it all on the table and so I would tell him

[00:34:28] [SPEAKER_03]: well I'm part of a book club okay we do read books over there like we do read books and we

[00:34:33] [SPEAKER_03]: do talk about books but that wasn't quite true what I was doing uh and you know the the more

[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_03]: I was falling in love with him and wanting you know to have this relationship with him

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_03]: my sponsor said to me one day you know you're gonna have to tell him

[00:34:50] [SPEAKER_03]: and again it's the whole idea of picking a safe person who lives the integrity that wants to grow

[00:34:56] [SPEAKER_03]: and when I told him he was so open to it wow so so open to it that he read books about you

[00:35:06] [SPEAKER_03]: know growing up with alcoholism he used to go to meetings with me there's a meeting that we

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_03]: used to go to on Saturday night it's kind of this idea of your a relationship meeting right

[00:35:15] [SPEAKER_03]: and he used to go to that with me in the beginning just to understand the language that I speak to

[00:35:21] [SPEAKER_03]: see what it's like um so he could have a really good understanding of working with me and what

[00:35:27] [SPEAKER_03]: makes me tick so I mean he's just such a good human being I just yeah I can't say enough

[00:35:33] [SPEAKER_03]: good things about my husband he has been instrumental on my journey um yeah so I love that

[00:35:38] [SPEAKER_02]: always supportive he was willing to integrate into your culture for lack of a better word like just

[00:35:44] [SPEAKER_02]: kind of like this is what you do and this is how you go about it and lifestyle and and went so far

[00:35:52] [SPEAKER_02]: to read books like wow wow I'm sorry I'm I'm seriously going away I I'm not gonna lie kind of wish

[00:36:01] [SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to imagine the world if everybody did that really try to understand your partner's

[00:36:07] [SPEAKER_02]: yeah no seriously so you mentioned uh I love that your words when you said you know you and your

[00:36:15] [SPEAKER_02]: husband and your son you have one child only correct so I'm gonna assume something what does the

[00:36:23] [SPEAKER_02]: adoption of your son by your husband mean to you and your family

[00:36:30] [SPEAKER_03]: hmm okay so maybe we should back up just a little bit right so my son Weston

[00:36:39] [SPEAKER_03]: is from my first marriage right and I'm not sure that we ever put that out there I guess maybe we

[00:36:43] [SPEAKER_03]: did yeah because we talked about how he hit me at Christmas time yes yeah so my husband and I'm

[00:36:49] [SPEAKER_03]: married when Weston was three and then my husband adopted him shortly thereafter Weston

[00:36:58] [SPEAKER_03]: wouldn't be who he is today if he if Webb wouldn't have adopted him you know I think back to

[00:37:07] [SPEAKER_03]: when Webb asked me to marry him he knew he was asking Weston to marry him too and so when we

[00:37:14] [SPEAKER_03]: when we married Weston was in the wedding he's gonna make me cry Weston was in the wedding

[00:37:21] [SPEAKER_03]: and my husband bought him a ring and gave him vows like it was there was a dry eye in the place they

[00:37:30] [SPEAKER_03]: weren't crying over me I was surprised they were crying over you know like we were we were becoming

[00:37:36] [SPEAKER_03]: this family right sorry okay he's beautiful I know it really is beautiful you know I

[00:37:43] [SPEAKER_03]: I was meditating this morning and my son is about to go off to college so there's no

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_03]: we'll just cry about that too so he in a week will leave for Utah he's a good kid

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_03]: and his relationship with Webb is is so strong and so beautiful um and his relationship with Webb's

[00:38:05] [SPEAKER_03]: parents is so strong and so beautiful it just means the world to me and it made me realize

[00:38:12] [SPEAKER_03]: that you know we've talked about my fears of abandonment that you know these people aren't

[00:38:18] [SPEAKER_03]: leaving you know Webb's not leaving he's in it you know he's always been in it he's been in it since

[00:38:24] [SPEAKER_03]: day one um the day of Weston's adoption Webb's parents came my sponsor and her husband came

[00:38:33] [SPEAKER_03]: you know Weston didn't have anybody that was biologically related to him except for me

[00:38:38] [SPEAKER_03]: and now he's got two sets of grandparents you know I mean it's just so beautiful that

[00:38:45] [SPEAKER_03]: family's what you make it you know you know I was born to one family and I don't get me wrong I love

[00:38:51] [SPEAKER_03]: my belly button family right like my sister and my brother I love them and I loved my parents

[00:38:57] [SPEAKER_03]: right but they're all kind of far away right um and so now he's got these these these grandparents

[00:39:04] [SPEAKER_03]: Webb adopting Weston too created this safe environment and again I have to say thank you

[00:39:11] [SPEAKER_03]: to my ex-husband who signed the paperwork to let this happen because it wouldn't have happened

[00:39:16] [SPEAKER_03]: otherwise without him being willing to do that um because my husband really wanted him and loves him

[00:39:23] [SPEAKER_03]: and yeah I'm just so full of gratitude all the time and again circling back around too

[00:39:32] [SPEAKER_03]: if God would have answered my prayers I would have never ever prayed for yes God please

[00:39:38] [SPEAKER_03]: will you I would like to meet a man who's gonna you know adopt my son and go through all this

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER_03]: whipping right like that I would have never thought to pray for that as a little kid right

[00:39:48] [SPEAKER_03]: I don't know if that answers your question but uh oh my my husband yeah I can't thank him enough

[00:39:54] [SPEAKER_02]: for all that he's done and when I add it's beautiful that you showed it out your ex-husband

[00:40:00] [SPEAKER_02]: I just love the fact you showed it out to him and gave him credit yeah that's that's just

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_02]: wonderful yeah you're at the stage where you can show gratitude to even him we when Weston was little

[00:40:14] [SPEAKER_03]: we lived overseas in multiple countries and that would have been really hard to do under different

[00:40:20] [SPEAKER_03]: circumstances and we got to provide this life to him that was nothing but safe and secure

[00:40:26] [SPEAKER_02]: so yeah thanks I'm still like like I still when I first met you and your family um I

[00:40:34] [SPEAKER_02]: I was blown away when you told me that uh Webb was not Weston's biological father I was like what

[00:40:40] [SPEAKER_02]: I know they look so much alike it's not even the physical features it's like the character how

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_02]: they stand like you can tell like Webb like it's like I know who's your daddy and it's a good one

[00:40:55] [SPEAKER_02]: they don't share the same DNA but so you know Weston is Webb's kid oh yeah I mean definitely

[00:41:03] [SPEAKER_03]: I mean they you know blood isn't necessarily what makes you family totally yeah he is yeah through

[00:41:08] [SPEAKER_03]: and through his dad um yeah their mannerisms the way they behave it's a yeah it's an absolute

[00:41:17] [SPEAKER_02]: miracle mm-hmm so there's no denying that you found an incredible incredible treasure

[00:41:22] [SPEAKER_02]: trophy here through and let's give you credit the hard work you've done for yourself okay it didn't

[00:41:29] [SPEAKER_02]: just pop up in front of your door so you have you earned this so so bravo well let's talk about

[00:41:35] [SPEAKER_02]: how you are using these booms for community impact I love that like you didn't just I just

[00:41:42] [SPEAKER_02]: keep it off of myself here you're you're sharing you're you're paying it forward

[00:41:47] [SPEAKER_02]: so can you tell us what are you involved with and how are these causes enhancing your sense of

[00:41:56] [SPEAKER_03]: purpose something that's so important to me that my sponsor shared with me in the beginning was

[00:42:01] [SPEAKER_03]: because I didn't have any self-esteem if you didn't know me 20 years ago I was quiet I was me

[00:42:07] [SPEAKER_03]: I was full self doubt um and she taught me that self-esteem comes from doing esteemable acts and so

[00:42:20] [SPEAKER_03]: I in the very beginning of working a program would help with making coffee or setting up chairs

[00:42:28] [SPEAKER_03]: and that was really all I could do to be of service because I wasn't really ready to talk

[00:42:34] [SPEAKER_03]: to people or put myself out there I sat in meetings for years and I didn't ever share

[00:42:41] [SPEAKER_03]: I didn't really talk to anybody I really hadn't connected with people as I was really afraid to

[00:42:48] [SPEAKER_03]: put myself out there and and again it was kind of an organic thing it just happens over time of

[00:42:53] [SPEAKER_03]: you know being asked to do service work in Elinon because it was a nice safe place to

[00:42:59] [SPEAKER_03]: do service work and so I'd start sharing in meetings or I'd start being the speaker at meetings

[00:43:06] [SPEAKER_03]: or I've done this I've been the secretary uh currently I'm holding the treasurer position

[00:43:13] [SPEAKER_03]: which is something that we take turns doing um so we're constantly taking turns doing different

[00:43:19] [SPEAKER_03]: types of service work and so over the years it felt nice you know it felt good to help

[00:43:25] [SPEAKER_03]: and to do those kinds of things and so over time I started finding other volunteer organizations

[00:43:31] [SPEAKER_03]: you know helping with western school with the pta in the library you know I've helped with scouts

[00:43:36] [SPEAKER_03]: I've sat on the board for scouts I've done lots and lots of jobs for scouts I've helped

[00:43:40] [SPEAKER_03]: with my workout group and I and I think it's for me it's that idea of and as I give I receive

[00:43:46] [SPEAKER_03]: right and so I felt this this calling and this purpose from God to serve him yeah by serving others

[00:43:57] [SPEAKER_03]: when I went to that Tony Robbins thing this this they this idea of purpose what is my purpose in life

[00:44:04] [SPEAKER_03]: what one of my meant to do I'm constantly seeking purpose and volunteering is one of them

[00:44:10] [SPEAKER_03]: serving others as one of them and you know that I said that I was writing a book because

[00:44:15] [SPEAKER_03]: I wanted to share my story my journey with people I want to share my hope with people you know that

[00:44:22] [SPEAKER_03]: you know even though you might be born into these circumstances doesn't mean you have to stay that way

[00:44:27] [SPEAKER_03]: and through hard work and working on your personal journey you know you can get to this other side

[00:44:33] [SPEAKER_03]: and so I've been you know I had been playing with writing that writing a book and sharing my

[00:44:37] [SPEAKER_03]: story and and you know and now it's developed into this amazing podcast because I just feel

[00:44:47] [SPEAKER_03]: this purpose to share stories so that people don't have to feel alone yeah I mean I just found

[00:44:53] [SPEAKER_03]: so much value in people sharing their stories with me their experiences rather than telling me

[00:44:59] [SPEAKER_03]: what I should do because the moment you tell me what I should do it's time I'm not going to

[00:45:04] [SPEAKER_03]: do it but if you share this is my experience this is what I've been through this is what I've

[00:45:08] [SPEAKER_03]: done and you know and maybe it works for me and maybe it doesn't but you know without sharing

[00:45:12] [SPEAKER_03]: those experiences and those stories with people we do feel alone so yeah so here we are doing the

[00:45:18] [SPEAKER_03]: bottom of diaries and I'm so grateful to you and to our other friend who have been instrumental

[00:45:25] [SPEAKER_02]: in making this happen so thank you and may be share my gratitude for you and just our friendship

[00:45:32] [SPEAKER_02]: and the things that you shared in your example like they always inspire me to give and and not

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER_02]: be afraid yeah and and to try things that terrify me yeah yeah and I like that you use the word

[00:45:47] [SPEAKER_03]: give because really that's the idea right you give for fun and for free yes right or don't give it

[00:45:52] [SPEAKER_03]: all yeah right yeah no strings attached just do it because it's the right thing to do yeah yeah

[00:45:58] [SPEAKER_02]: and the total freedom in that like does up and and like I said try to throw booms that comes when you

[00:46:04] [SPEAKER_03]: do oh I know I was so excited about doing this particular episode because I just I constantly

[00:46:10] [SPEAKER_03]: think about all the things that I'm so grateful for all the gratitude that I have all you know the

[00:46:16] [SPEAKER_03]: booms being you know this multitude of of different gifts that I've received you know the gift of

[00:46:22] [SPEAKER_03]: friends good friends you um you know the idea of my family I'm so grateful for my family I cannot tell

[00:46:31] [SPEAKER_03]: you how grateful I am for web his parents I mean we have such a great relationship I know a lot of

[00:46:39] [SPEAKER_03]: people can't say they have a great relationship but they're in-laws the man I love web's family I

[00:46:44] [SPEAKER_03]: don't know what I would do about them like I call them all the time for their experience you

[00:46:50] [SPEAKER_03]: know my sponsors um I just yeah I'm so grateful yeah so excited about this episode I've been so

[00:46:58] [SPEAKER_03]: looking forward to talking about all the things that I'm grateful for and all the gifts that I've

[00:47:01] [SPEAKER_02]: received speaking of being grateful for the people in your life there's a special someone that maybe

[00:47:07] [SPEAKER_03]: likes shut up yeah I know we shared that we want to make sure that we thank all the people

[00:47:13] [SPEAKER_03]: who have been instrumental in getting this podcast off the ground and launched this particular

[00:47:18] [SPEAKER_03]: episode we're thanking Christina Griffin Christina is a good friend of mine who is a

[00:47:24] [SPEAKER_03]: photographer she owns WD art imagery and she was so kind in the beginning um and met with us

[00:47:33] [SPEAKER_03]: and talked about wardrobes and staging the room and took pictures of us so you'll see some of

[00:47:39] [SPEAKER_03]: those pictures put around on her website uh some of our headshots I mean she was just so

[00:47:43] [SPEAKER_03]: encouraging and so excited about this podcast and then she introduced me to this women's association

[00:47:48] [SPEAKER_03]: that I'm now part of and meeting other people and doing some networking she has been so so

[00:47:53] [SPEAKER_03]: instrumental just a big shout out to her you can find her at WDR imagery.com check her out

[00:48:00] [SPEAKER_03]: she's an amazing photographer go look at her website absolutely amazing we're so grateful

[00:48:07] [SPEAKER_02]: to everyone who is embarked with us to all the way to the conclusion of Mandy's monolith

[00:48:12] [SPEAKER_02]: we hope you get to enjoy some of the boons that Mandy has shared with us today

[00:48:18] [SPEAKER_03]: we hope that we'll see you for the next three episodes where Karen's going to share her monolith

[00:48:24] [SPEAKER_03]: about overcoming childhood trauma so we're looking forward it'll be the same sort of setup

[00:48:28] [SPEAKER_03]: episode one ordinary world episode two her journey and episode three will be her boon

[00:48:33] [SPEAKER_03]: so be sure to join us thanks for joining me on my monolith it's been a lot of fun I've

[00:48:38] [SPEAKER_02]: truly enjoyed sharing with y'all thank you for joining us today if you enjoyed this episode

[00:48:47] [SPEAKER_02]: please share hit like subscribe and follow us on youtube and wherever you get your podcasts

[00:48:53] [SPEAKER_02]: feel free to email us at monolithdairies at gmail.com with your monolith and keep the

[00:48:59] [SPEAKER_05]: conversations going until next time heroes let's journey together through stories